Mid-Life Crisis

Oh Yes, He Won!!

Apolo Ohno and Julianne Hough - Dancing With The Stars Season 4 Champions!

Apolo Anton Ohno is the Season 4, disco-ball-trophy winning, Dancing With The Stars champion! Yes!

I'm uncharacteristically ebullient today because finally something I care about had a HAPPY ENDING!

Okay, so I got to see him win that Olympic gold medal thing. In person. In Italy. That was pretty cool. But that was over a year ago. Starting about a week after that, my life started to go horribly awry. Things haven't quite turned around yet, so it feels really, really good to have something to smile about. Not that I'm actually smiling right now. But I'm thinking that I feel like smiling, and that's a major improvement in itself.

I really love Dancing With The Stars. It's so colorful, fun, and spangly. It's glamorous, in the most tacky way possible. I must admit that the whole circus atmosphere wears me out after a while, (especially when there's a lot of drama, cause you know I'm NOT into the drama). And yes, the judges do bug the crap out of me. Still, I'm always sad to see it end because it brightens up my decidely un-spangly life.

I'm going to miss my weekly DWTS fix.  I got a little happiness transfusion seeing what Apolo and Julianne came up with every Monday, what horrible song they were stuck with, and what amazing thing they managed to do with it. I'll miss the sexy costumes, the parade of hairstyles, the spray-on tan, and the dramatic makeup. Oh, and I'll miss Julianne too.

And speaking of Julianne, never has one woman (girl?) been envied so much by so many. As much as I hate to admit it, I'll miss swooning along with the other love starved fans over the unfolding drama of the couple's faux romance. It was like one of those cheesy Harlequin Romances come to life.

So now it's over and I must return to the dull routine of my daily life. There's nothing left but the memories...

Oh, who am I kidding. I've got the whole season saved on my DVR. I can watch it anytime I want. I'm just being dramatic because I can't think of anything else to say to end this post. I guess I'll just have to go with the obvious...

Apolo and Julianne, you ROCKED!!

(Oh yeah, I'm gonna totally regret that later.)

He's a Dancing Machine!

Dancing, dancing, dancing
He's a dancing machine
Ah babe
Move it baby...

That disco-era Jackson Five song has been going through my head ever since I saw Apolo Anton Ohno shake his booty for the first time during the Season 4 Premiere of "Dancing With the Stars" last week. (I took some poetic license with that quote. The actual lyrics are "She's a dancing machine.")

As a long time fan, I shouldn't admit this, but I really didn't think he could pull this off. Not the dance steps so much. I figured as a natural athlete he would master those. I just couldn't imagine him adding the flair that is necessary to make a ballroom routine anything other than painful to watch. (Think Tucker Carlson.) My sister told me she saw a video preview of the new season on one of the daytime talk shows, and she thought Apolo showed a lot of promise. I was skeptical.

I've stalked followed Apolo's career since 2002. I've attended many competitions and a few events off the ice where he was in attendance. In all that time I've never seen anything to indicate he was anything other than a very reserved person. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him smile. So imagine my surprise on Monday night when he stepped down onto the dance floor, swung his arms wide open and smiled. I think my jaw actually hit the floor. I had barely gotten over that shock when out came the swiveling hips and the fancy footwork. Whoa! Sure, there were some missteps, but still...he was good!

I've also never seen him look so happy and relaxed. It was so much fun to watch. After all the tension and drama surrounding my four year career as a short track fan, the DWTS experience looks to be a refreshing change. It's as if someone opened a window and let a cool breeze blow in.

Oh, and I shouldn't forget to mention his partner Julianne Hough. Julianne is sexy, adorable, (is that combination possible?), and a hell of a dancer.

Here's the video of Apolo and Julianne dancing the Cha Cha Cha in Week One:

Let's Hear it for the Boy...

He wuz Robbed

I'm not just saying that because I saw him naked and he has a great butt. I swear.

I don't care what anyone says, Emmitt Smith is not a better dancer than Mario Lopez. For a big guy, Emmitt can definitely move, but not like Mario can. And where Mario really had it all over Emmitt was his ability to take on the appropriate persona for the various dances. Emmitt was cool and confident, but he was always just Emmitt.

Let's face it, Emmitt just has more fans. If the past two seasons of Dancing with the Stars has proven anything, it's that there's a whole lot of football fans in this country.

I hate football. Bah!

See also:

Mario Lopez Official Site

YouTube Clip of Mario Naked on Nip/Tuck

(Note: You must sign in and be over 18 to watch the clip)

He's the New Best Thing about Thursday Nights

Turns out Dr. McSteamy isn't the only one giving Dr. McDreamy a run for his money on Thursday nights. There's another hot guy in town...

That would be Jay Hernandez, currently starring in the new drama series Six Degrees on ABC.

I had never heard of him until Miss Yano mentioned his "pretty face" on her blog. A nod from her was enough to peak my interest, so I checked him out. Indeed, his face is quite lovely, complete with smoldering eyes and pouty lips. And apparently we're not the only ones to notice, because for much of the ( way too brief) time he's onscreen, the camera is right up in his face. Which is just fine with me, because he really knows how to work the closeup.

That being said, I decided to purchase the DVD's of a few of his movies so I can get a better look at the eh, whole package, so to speak. I almost never buy the DVD of a movie I haven't already seen and enjoyed enough to warrant a second viewing, but I made an exception in this case. If his acting is half as good as he looks, it should be worth the $7.99 price tag.

Here's a few more photos in case I've peaked your curiosity:

Jay Hernandez Gallery

Blogging Project Runway

If you are a fan of Project Runway and need something to do between shows, get yourself over to Blogging Project Runway.

BPR--as the regulars refer to it--is a fan blog for the Project Runway show. It is chock full of interesting and fun stuff. Take a look and you will find all sorts of goodies, such as:

• Links to the blogs and official sites of contestants from all three seasons
• Exclusive Interviews with current and former contestants, their families, and Tim!
• "From the Mailbox" links to news articles emailed in by fans
• Live posting during broadcasts
• Post show recaps and transcripts
• Fun reader polls

The site's contributors claim no affiliation to the show, or to Bravo, but they have apparently done some kickass networking. If you scroll down the main page, and skip around in the archives, you'll see that they have cultivated relationships with both current and former contestants, and their families.

I think the reason they have been so successful at this is because the staff is so clearly dedicated to supporting all of the designers, rather than singling out their favorites. They also keep the tone of the site fun, but respectful, and unapologetically positive. You and I know that ain't easy,and must be even more difficult when their subject is a show that is essentially a bitch fest. But they manage somehow.

Actually, the way they manage is by ruling with a velvet gloved iron hand. Readers are asked to please find positive things to say about whatever the topic is, and if they have negative thoughts they are directed off the main page to a separate page set up for the purpose of free discussion. (Not surprisingly, the comments on this page way out number the comments in the 'postive comments only' thread.)

Regardless of where they are commenting, posters are expected to stick to a strict set of comment guidelines. I'm not entirely sure if people stick to those rules, because I've never spent more than a fleeting few seconds reading the comments. The main reason for this has to do with my one negative comment about the site. I hate the white type on the black backround. It just kills my eyes. I can't see clearly for a good five minutes after reading it. (There should be some sort of web design law against this. Or maybe it's just me.)

Blogging Project Runway is a popular fan site, (it's not unusual for threads to have 400 comments), that has obviously gained the respect of the Project Runway community as well. As far as I can tell, the popularity and the respect are well deserved.

Runway Repeat

Tonight's Project Runway is a rerun of last week's show.

This strikes me as a bad decision. They had a good momentum going. They had everyone's attention. Then, just when all the other new shows are premiering, they stick in a rerun. Excellent way to lose viewers.

I'm bummed because I've been looking forward to the show since last week. (I know. That is so sad.) I just checked the TV listings and there's nothing else on that I want to watch. I guess I won't be one of the viewers that they will lose to another show.

Maybe I'll work on that list of things I'd do if I had more time.

In case your life is as boring as mine, and you want something to look forward to, I found a schedule for the remaining weeks of the show over at Blogging Project Runway. They confirmed this with Andy Cohen, Bravo's Vice President of Production and Programming, so it should be fairly accurate.

Project Runway Season 3 - Remaining Shows:

September 27 - the final challenge
October 4 - reunion of all season 3 contestants
October 11 - Finale Part 1 (Tim visits the designers at home etc.)
October 18 - Finale Part 2 (The Fashion Show and Results.)

By the way, Blogging Project Runway is a great resource. It's the second best fan blog I've ever read, the first of course being this one. I want to talk more about it, but I'm going to do that in a separate post so I can do a better job of pimping for them.

I'll do that later. For now I must don my French maid's costume and so some house cleaning.

Ten on Tuesday...on Wednesday

Ten on Tuesday: 10 Favorite Television Personalities

1. David Letterman
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Rosie O'Donnell
4. Ellen DeGeneres
5. Craig Ferguson
6. Bill Geist
7. Ty Pennington
8. Bobby Flay
9. John McEnroe
10. Nate Berkus

Honorable Mention: Tim Russert and Andy Rooney

It's Emmy Time!

Today was a good day. It was cool and rainy and I didn't feel a bit guilty staying inside all day at the computer.

I've been spending the past few weeks at my family's rented vacation home. I haven't been able to do any writing, or even much reading online, because there has been at least four children here at all times. I was lucky to steal a few minutes to check my email. Everyone has gone home except my mom, so we had a nice quiet day today. My mom watched sports and made chicken soup, and I spent all day online, overdosing on popular culture and playing with my blog. It was perfect. Well, except for the part where I had to go out in a torrential rain storm to pick up some celery. I didn't mind though, because I'll do anything as long as I don't have to cook.

Tonight the Emmys were on, and that is always one of my favorite TV nights. I wanted to post the scorecard and chose my favorites before the show, but I spent so much time playing with the links on my blog that I didn't quite make it. But there was so much down time during the show that I had time to post a scorecard and update it during the show. So here's the list of nominees highlighted with my choices, and the actual winners.

For those of you who might actually be interested enough to read it, here's a guide:

-The nominees highlighted in pink are my favorites.

-The nominees highlighted in orange are the actual winners.

-If my favorite is also the winner, I put a pink * next to the winner.

-If I didn't chose a favorite that means I didn't see any of the shows.

-Following each category I put my comments in italics.

Drama Series:
Grey's Anatomy - ABC
House - Fox
The Sopranos - HBO
24 - Fox
The West Wing - NBC

I hate it when shows I don't watch win. It makes me grumpy.

Comedy Series:
Arrested Development - Fox
Curb Your Enthusiasm - HBO
The Office - NBC
Scrubs - NBC
Two and a Half Men - CBS

This show isn't a big favorite of mine, but I love Ricky Gervais [creator of the original English version of the show], so I'm really glad it won.

Miniseries:
Bleak House - PBS
Elizabeth I - HBO
Into the West - TNT
Sleeper Cell - Showtime

Didn't see any of them. Don't care who won.

Made-for-TV Movie:
Flight 93 - A&E
The Flight That Fought Back - Discovery Channel
The Girl in the Cafe - HBO
Mrs. Harris - HBO
Yesterday - HBO

*snore*

Variety, Music or Comedy Series:
The Colbert Report - Comedy Central
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart - Comedy Central
Late Night With Conan O'Brien - NBC
Late Show With David Letterman - CBS
Real Time With Bill Maher - HBO

I couldn't get excited enough about this category to pick a favorite.

Actor, Drama Series:
Christopher Meloni - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Denis Leary - Rescue Me
Peter Krause - Six Feet Under
Kiefer Sutherland - 24
Martin Sheen - The West Wing

Dennis Leary DID NOT WIN. I didn't expect him to, but still, I am NOT HAPPY.

Actress, Drama Series:
Kyra Sedgwick - The Closer
Geena Davis - Commander in Chief
Mariska Hargitay - Law & Order
Frances Conroy - Six Feet Under
Allison Janney - The West Wing

I'm sick of Law and Order and all its variations.

Supporting Actor, Drama Series:
William Shatner - Boston Legal
Oliver Platt - Huff
Michael Imperioli - The Sopranos
Gregory Itzin - 24
Alan Alda - The West Wing

Even though he's not my favorite, I actually think Michael Imperioli should have won this.

Supporting Actress, Drama Series:
Candice Bergen - Boston Legal
Sandra Oh - Grey's Anatomy
Chandra Wilson - Grey's Anatomy
Blythe Danner - Huff
Jean Smart - 24

It was hard to pick a winner in this category. I love everyone on this list.

Actor, Comedy Series:
Larry David - Curb Your Enthusiasm
Kevin James - The King of Queens
Tony Shalhoub - Monk
Steve Carell - The Office
Charlie Sheen - Two and a Half Men

This was another tough one. It was hard to pick a favorite, but I had to go with Larry David because he just kills me. I've only seen Monk once, but I love Tony Shalhoub so I couldn't be too upset that he won.

Actress, Comedy Series:
Lisa Kudrow - The Comeback
Jane Kaczmarek - Malcolm in the Middle
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - The New Adventures of Old Christine*
Stockard Channing - Out of Practice
Debra Messing - Will & Grace

I hate her new show, but I love Julia so she gets my sentimental vote.

Supporting Actor, Comedy Series:
Will Arnett - Arrested Development
Jeremy Piven - Entourage*
Bryan Cranston - Malcolm in the Middle
Jon Cryer - Two and a Half Men
Sean Hayes - Will & Grace

I've been a fan of Jeremy Piven forever. He's amazing in Entourage. He's so obnoxious he makes my head hurt.

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series:
Cheryl Hines - Curb Your Enthusiasm
Alfre Woodard - Desperate Housewives
Jaime Pressly - My Name Is Earl
Elizabeth Perkins - Weeds
Megan Mullally - Will & Grace

Megan Mullally is great, but she was a one trick pony for the last four seasons of the show. Jamie Pressly is so good in that role. She plays this trashy women with dignity and heart.

Actor, Miniseries or a Movie:
Donald Sutherland - Human Trafficking
Ben Kingsley - Mrs. Harris
Jon Voight - Pope John Paul II
Andre Braugher - Thief

Don't know. Don't care.

Actress, Miniseries or a Movie:
Kathy Bates - Ambulance Girl
Gillian Anderson - Bleak House
Helen Mirren - Elizabeth I*
Judy Davis - A Little Thing Called Murder
Annette Bening - Mrs. Harris

Didn't see any of these performances, but Helen Mirren deserves an award for looking really hot for an old broad.

Supporting Actor, Miniseries or a Movie:
Denis Lawson - Bleak House
Hugh Dancy - Elizabeth I
Jeremy Irons, "Elizabeth I
Robert Carlyle - Human Trafficking
Clifton Collins Jr. - Thief

What was I sleeping for the past year? I never heard of any of these shows!

Supporting Actress, Miniseries or a Movie:
Kelly Macdonald - The Girl in the Cafe
Shirley Jones - Hidden Places
Ellen Burstyn - Mrs. Harris
Cloris Leachman - Mrs. Harris
Alfre Woodard - The Water Is Wide

I can't believe the one young chick in the group took home the prize. The others probably want to gang up and beat the crap out of her. I would gladly do so on their behalf.

There's something missing from this list. I got the list from the New York Times. I guess they don't care about reality television because they left that category off of their list. Let's see if I can find it...

Reality Competition Program:
The Amazing Race - CBS
American Idol - Fox
Dancing with the Stars - ABC
Project Runway - Bravo
Survivor - CBS

This was a hard choice because I watch and enjoy all of those shows except Survivor. I picked Runway because it's my favorite, but in terms of production value I have to say that Amazing Race was the right choice.

Okay, that's it for now. I'm tired. Tomorrow I'll try to give you my list of catty remarks about the show and the red carpet.

On the Tube Tonight...

Will & Grace : NBC : 8:30 pm est

I stopped thinking Will & Grace was funny after the second or third season, however, never being one to pass up the chance to witness television history in the making, I'll be tuning in tonight as they risk making total asses of themselves by doing their season premiere live.

W & G Live Blog

The Sixties : PBS : 9:00 pm est

The complete title of this show is The Sixties: The Years that Shaped a Generation. If you ask me, and almost everyone I know who is the product of that time, it shaped the generation into something warped and disfunctional. I'm planning on watching this documentary in the hopes that I might figure out exactly how we got so totally f*cked up that we need total strangers to come into our homes to tell us how to raise our children.

OY!

I have such a heaviness on my chest right now.

I just watched Nanny 911 for the first time. (Warning: keep the sound down if you click on that link!) Last season I was a loyal Supernanny fan. I felt a bit like I was cheating on Nanny Jo, but I needed some back round noise as I cleaned the kitchen after dinner, and there was nothing else that interested me. I didn't have the patience to surf 300 channels, so I went right for the big networks. The other choices were CSI, one of the 12 versions of Law & Order (or some show like it), Lost, (sorry, I just don't get the attraction), and the 10 o'clock news (which around here is enough to give you nightmares). So Nanny 911 it was.

And speaking of giving me nightmares, I just could not believe the family that Nanny Deb was sent to 'fix.' I can't even talk about it because just thinking about it makes my chest hurt. Let's just say that the low point of the show was when one of the daughters, who couldn't be older than 10, built a fire in the backyard, (without supervision-the parents were in the house), and the father praised her for building the fire the way he taught her to. WHAT?! When the mother tried to explain to the child that this is something she shouldn't do without at least one parent present, the husband just talked right over her, continuing to praise the child. It was absolutely NUTS! This guy was constantly encouraging the kids to participate in activities that were reckless and dangerous. He not only refused to acknowledge that these activities are dangerous, he insisted he was doing the right thing because he was teaching them how to have fun. WHAT?! His refusal to back the mom up left the kids with absolutely no respect for her, which was pathetic to watch. At one point one kid called her an 'idiot' right to her face, and the father said nothing.

Okay, so I talked about it even when I said I wasn't going to. I just can't get over it! It was infuriating to watch. And of course I would do a much better job. Which is why I watch these shows. You've heard of 'armchair quarterbacks?' I'm an armchair parent.

I'm done watching these shows though. If I wanted to be stressed and aggravated, I'd adopt my own kids!